The Subtle Art of Saying 'No' at Workplace !

 

The subtle art of saying ‘No’ at the workplace

To be honest, I was always called the ‘people’s pleaser’ at the workplace for the fact that I would never say a ‘No’ to anything that came my way. There were several reasons for me doing that:

 

-      To avoid looking selfish

-      To help others

-      To avoid disappointing people

-      To get others to like us

-      To appear valuable

-      To avoid missing out on opportunities

-      To avoid emotional bullying

-      To prevent conflict

 

Needless to say that this did affect my personal life.

However, I came across this book by Damon Zahariades – “The Art of Saying NO”. The book has beautifully described various ways of saying ‘No’ not just at the workplace, but in any situation for a happy and healthy life. I would like to share a few of the amazing learnings that eventually taught me this subtle art and how it has impacted me in a positive way.

 

‘No’ is a little word that has incredible power. This is one reason many are afraid to say a ‘No’ at the workplace. However, in an attempt to be always pleasing, you are creating stress for your own self.  The more often you say ‘No’ now, the less often you will need to say it in future.

 

Here is a common dilemma: A colleague asks you for help and you agree. The 10-15 minutes of your time that your colleague requested could turn out be closer to an hour. While there is absolutely nothing wrong in working as a team at workplace, but respecting your own time is vital. The truth is that everytime you say yes to someone else, you say a no to yourself. ‘Saying No to people is one of the most essential skills you can develop. It frees you to pursue your own interests, both personal and professional’. Fortunately, there are gleaming ways of saying ‘No’ with poise, grace and tact – without feeling guilty:

The ‘If’s and But’s’

 

The best phrases we learnt as a child are ‘if’s and but’s’. While, it may sound childish, but at a workplace, these phrases are a better option to use than ‘No’. Let us look at three examples –

 

a) “I am sorry, I won’t be able to help you.”

b) “I would love to help you, but I am tied up with other work right now”

c) “I would have loved to help you if I wasn’t tied up with so much work”

 

While in all the three sentences, we are conveying our limitations to help, the phrases/words replacing a direct ‘No’ sound more professional at work.

The ‘Can you check after some time’

 

You are certainly a person who loves to help and does not want to lose that reputation. The simple and most elegant way here to say a ‘No’ is to ask the client/ colleague to check back when you have time to consider the request. This is a perfectly reasonable response and places the pressure where it ideally should be – on the requestor. This is how you can do it:

 

“Well, currently I am a bit tied up with work. Would you mind checking with me after some time?

 

 

The conditional ‘Yes’

 

You do not always have to say a ‘No’. When your client asks you to provide certain opinion today, you cannot say ‘No’ to that. What you can rather do is to force your client to prioritize. You can say:

 

“I can provide the opinion today. But I am afraid, we may miss out on filing the return on the due date.”

 

With conditional yes, we force others to prioritize. It also shows that you have other things on your plate already.

 

Offering an ‘Alternative’

 

Nobody likes to get their work hampered because of your ‘No’. When you say a ‘No’, give the requestor an alternative. It will go a long way towards alleviating his or her disappointment at your unwillingness to lend a helping hand. Something like the below may work:

 

“I can provide the verbal opinion today over a late call, but the presentation may not be possible. However, I assume this will atleast get your work started.”

 

The ‘X is better at this’

 

You may sometimes receive work request which could be better managed by someone else. Declining such requests and redirecting it to someone else is win-win for all the three parties: you are able to save your own time on something that isn’t your expertise, the requestor will receive a better result and the person whom your refer to will get an opportunity to show his proficiency. Here is how you can say a ‘No’, without saying a ‘No’:

 

“Because I have never filed a TDS return, I would rather not file this one too. It’s an area of strength for X and I am sure he would be happy to help here”.

 

The ‘check my schedule’

 

To be honest, this is my favorite way of saying a ‘No’. It ideally leaves no room for the senior/ client to burden me into accommodating his request. The one way to do it is to directly tell your senior, “I don’t have enough time to do this”. But most likely there are chances your senior may negotiate, “It will just take an hour”. Rather, you can try explaining in detail why you can’t take it up today. You might say:

 

“I would love to help you tomorrow. Today is actually a bad day for me. Look at my calendar. I have a meeting at 3 pm and it will take me 2 hours to finish preparing for the same. You are also aware, today is the due date for filing return and how critical it is to wrap it up before the client concludes their office hours. And amidst all of this, I also have to return several calls and respond to a bunch of emails. I am not sure how will I even fit my lunch between all this.”

 

The direct ‘No’

 

Once, you are comfortable with saying ‘No’ more often, you can take the ultimate step in mastering saying ‘No’. There is absolutely no guilt in this and if you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will. You should always remember:

 

-        You are not responsible for other’s reactions

-        Your time and interests are valuable too

-        Saying ‘No’ doesn’t make you a bad person

 

While it is important to remember the effects of saying ‘Yes’, it is also essential to subtly say a ‘No’ only when you genuinely feel the extra work may give you stress or won't fit in your daily schedule. At the workplace, ultimately, it is all about teamwork. We should also not forget the fact that a good deed can never go in vain. But, not at the cost of your well-being.